Over Christmas break, The Daughters had several of their friends over quite a few times for “play dates.” I love play dates. They give The Daughters a chance to play with their friends outside of school. They get to play games that require more than 2 players (and none of the players HAVE to be me or The Dad, gah!). They get to make crafts and projects. They get to share jokes and books and riddles. They get to be creative and imaginative… They get to have fun!
The biggest advantage to play dates, however, is that it gives me a chance to catch up on my DVR’d episodes of Friends and Desperate Housewives. Because of this little momma break, I thought play dates were a gift from heaven… manna for the momma.
Then I got a magazine this week and one of the cover articles was “Games and Activities Everyone Will Love at Your Next Play Date!” I excitedly turned to this article thinking that if I had a really great activity, then not only could I get caught up on my shows, then maybe The Daughters and their friends would be so enthralled with their time together that I could sneak a Twinkie out of my secret stash and eat it without having to share!
Then I read the article.
Apparently, the momma who wrote this article believes it’s important to actually play WITH the kids during a play date.
To that, I say: WHA--??
I was appalled that this woman had totally missed the magic of a play date: Someone else to entertain your kids! Really. She should have asked me first; I’d have gladly tuned her in to how it was done in the real world.
I giggle-snorted as I read the article. The Dad asked me what I was giggling about.
“This woman says that when her kids have play dates, she turns the TV off and plays with them!”
Then a little voice piped up and said, “CiCi’s mom does that.”
I jumped and just about pee’d my pants, “Wha--? Who said that?”
Daughter 2 said, “CiCi’s mom always plays with us. Always. And there’s a no-TV rule at their house when they have guests.”
Under my breath, I murmured, “Does CiCi’s mom also make you organic granola for a snack?” And that sharp-eared little devil said, “She does! Do you have the recipe?”
This was all news to me. My play-date world was crumbling down around my taco-flavored Doritos bag (hidden beside the recliner, so I wouldn’t have to share).
That afternoon as another mom dropped her kids off to play with my kids, I asked her what she did when my girls came to her house. She quickly looked around and whispered, “Why? What’d they tell you?”
I related the highlights of the article to my friend and (thankfully) she was just as appalled as I was.
“But, when will I check Facebook if I’m playing Scrabble with them?” she cried.
“I know, right?” And I poured us both a glass of red wine (disguised in a coffee cup, so the kids wouldn’t think they had to have a drink).
We agreed that it was a totally new concept to us and that probably our kids wouldn’t really want us to play with them and their friends, right? Then she quickly excused herself because her crops are not going to plant themselves on Farmville, by golly!
I finished reading the article and then decided to give it a whirl. Really, how bad could it be to play with my own kids?? The first project was a bird feeder. I could do that! I found Styrofoam cups, sunflower seeds, yarn and peanut butter. I began gathering the items, then quickly made myself a sunflower-seed-and-peanut-butter sandwich and decided that maybe that wasn’t the best project for us after all, especially since I had just used up all the peanut butter.
I think a game would fare better. I called the kids into the room and announced that we would play a game all together.
They announced that they were playing all together and started to leave the room.
“No! I mean with me!”
Daughter 2 said, “How about you call up CiCi’s mom and see if she’ll come play with us instead?” To which all the girls screamed, “YEAH!”
“Look,” I said, “I’m a good game player! What game do you want to play?”
Daughter 1 looked at the rest of the girls, smiled slyly, and said, “We love hide and seek. I’ll be it!”
So, quickly, I secured my place in the corner of the linen closet. This was not an easy task because I had to wrestle with a king-size mattress cover. And I was sure they’d find me in no time because I had to move the suitcases into the hall in order to squeeze my dainty self into the hole. And then I held my breath and I waited.
You know what? This was kind of fun. I will admit that I giggled like a little girl on more than one occasion when time passed and I still hadn’t been found! And then my left foot went to sleep… and the sleepiness crept all the way up my leg and into my hip. I was able to grab my phone from my back pocket and check the time! I’d been in this closet for almost 20 minutes!! HEY! I don’t think they’re playing right! I tried to stand up, but the whole left side of me was asleep. I tried to crawl out, but every time I did, I hit my head on the shelf so hard that I saw “Estrellas!” And then I heard Dora singing about “estrellas”. And then I knew: The kids had duped me.
When The Dad arrived at home, he knew something was up because they were singing Pink’s “Rockstar” on the Wii Karaoke and eating my secret stash of M & M’s. He came and removed the shelf from the closet and helped me get out.
“I was trying to be a good mom – like in the magazine!” I whimpered to him.
“You are a good mom,” he assured me. “You just need to find a different magazine to take inspiration from.” What a smart guy! And so sweet... He immediately went out and got me a different magazine.
He brought home Playboy.
Too bad he won’t be playing hide and seek with me anytime soon!
You can contact Minivan Momma at minivan.momma.2@gmail.com
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